Sometimes I say things that could really get me in trouble, times where the masking slips and my brain can't catch up with my mouth so I say something stupid. Honestly I have been getting better at it, with the last bad one being a distant memory now but today I really messed up. I am trying not to dwell on it too much or give it too much thought because the other party says it's okay but sometimes I can't help it. Idk, i feel guilty.
Dwelling never does anyone any good so today has started off with a Devil wears Prada watch before I finally watch the sequel. I am running between my room and this film and my kitchen with my cooking responsibilities. I really in a cinephile kind of mood today, I am also finally watching Odessey with my girls before it leaves the fomo because I can no longer take the fomo that comes after finally watching a movie at home, absolutely loving it and then desperately wanting to watch it in the cinema but it is too long gone. Terrible feeling, second only to the feeling of regret but I don't really have the energy to get into all of that right now.
I have recently had a shockwave moment of realising that me hiding from wanting to have my picture take out of fear that I would look ugly may have resulted in little to no more pictures of my childhood outfits and costumes than I have already seen. Maybe that's why I try to document so much now but I feel less ashamed, though I do wish I could have told my younger self "pose however you want, they see you anyways"
In less self-deprecating news I have somehow figured out my halloween costumes for this year, with some bonus, but not what I want to do for my 23rd birthday, which is fast approaching. Last year I spent my birthday at pinkpatheress concert and went on holiday the day afterwards with my two best friends... how the hell do I top that? Hopefully the people will see in a month and a bit when I have executed the light bulb idea but until then I shall wait for said light bulb idea.
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